She's Closer to Jesus Than Me
Every Sunday we take Brynna to worship with us. She loves music. She dances, she waves her arms, and she sings in her own way. She stands, she sits, she spins in circles and sometimes shouts out in laughter or joy.
After worship, she goes to the nursery as her whaling and outbursts are distracting for sermon time. but during worship, she has the time of her life!
Today we were reminded how close to the heart of God our special ones actually are. Today we sang one of her favorite songs, and it showed.
The musicians were silent except for the drummer who started with a quiet, low, steady beat. The leader began to sing, “I raise a Hallelujah …” and Brynna knew exactly what was coming.
She turns 13 next May, but developmentally scores somewhere between 2 and 4 depending on the domain. There is so much she either doesn’t understand or doesn’t respond well to being non-verbal. It’s hard not being able to explain things to her, calm her down when she is upset, or reason through a difficult time. But worship is different. She understands more than I do most days.
During the song as the lyrics began to build, the tempo grew, and other musicians joined in, Brynna could no longer contain herself.
I don’t know where you are on the spectrum of worship from hand raising to pious and contemplative hymns, but today Brynna entered the presence of God.
I looked over and she was tapping the chair in front of her in perfect time, her face aglow with the biggest smile you could imagine and her arm raised at just the appropriate time joining in worship with the rest of us.
For all the times I’m certain she doesn’t understand what’s going on, this isn’t one of them. This little gal has had some enemies come her way from diminished mental development to chronic illness to constant pain and need for assistance, but today she spent her morning Raising a Hallelujah in the presence of each and every one.
The purity of her worship hit me today. We sometimes hear things like, “One day she will be fully healed and whole in heaven.” Maybe it’s me who waits to be made whole after all.
